11 September 2010

Beware the leprechaun

It came to me as I was cleaning the kitchen this morning. There must be an explanation of how an otherwise tidy and clean kitchen can all of sudden look disgracefully dirty. And in a moment of illumination, it came to me. There really IS a leprechaun at work in my kitchen.

I never see him. He lurks just out of sight. But when I'm fast asleep at night, he creeps into the kitchen with his magic dirty dust and goes to work. Not all at once of course. Just a little splodge of milk on the floor here. Another night, a crusty bit of rice dropped on the bench there. A few coffee granules here. A few spits of oil there.

He is cunning you see. If it happened all at once, I would definitely notice.

But I go about my daily life quite oblivious. Most times I look at my kitchen and think 'it's clean'. We wipe up after every meal, clean the hobs and wipe the benches down. I look at my kitchen a couple of weeks later and think 'it's still clean'.

A couple more weeks go by. And then all of a sudden one day, I see past the magic of his work leaving a little here, a little there thinking I won't notice. And realise, in horror, that in fact my kitchen is covered in crumbs, the microwave is covered in splattered food, the extractor fan is covered in oily dust, and the floor has some very sticky patches and splodges on it. How did this happen?!

The leprechaun I tell you.

The leprechaun leaves his mark. Which I attempt to erase.

And so I spend an hour erasing all his devious little doings. But I am convinced of his existence now. Seriously. How do I know this? This morning I cleaned the coffee machine, it was so sparkly it could have doubled as a mirror. I turned away for one second, looked back and aha, the evidence was there. A few new coffee granules had appeared. Out of nowhere. Where I had JUST cleaned!

The evidence!

So now I know the truth. And I am on my guard. Armed with the best weapons I can muster.

But I'm not sure I have much hope of ever catching him. I think he must be a very clever and elusive leprechaun.

I'm wondering, is there a leprechaun living in your kitchen too?


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