02 September 2013

Desperately seeking balance....

I was so encouraged by the number of people who engaged with me after last week's post When Dreams and Reality Collide.

Hearing how some of you have indeed made a conscious decision to choose to live out your dreams was really inspiring. I was particularly touched by Cat sharing more of her story with me, and also an email I received from Julie sharing the wonderful work and story of Carla Coulson whose blog  I hadn't yet been introduced to. I spent a good part of Monday night enveloped in the beautiful world that Carla creates in her photography and came away so full of hope. 


It has given me much to think about this past week.


One thing for sure is that the current work-to-life balance is not quite right.


Two years ago when Noah began school I made a conscious decision to cut back my hours from 40 to 35 hours a week. That lasted about 6 months and then they crept back to 37 with busyness at work and Noah went to after-school care one day a week. In the remaining four days I still managed to pack in my work hours between 7.30am - 2.30pm so I could spend my afternoons with the boys.


I look back on posts from that time and it feels like I had so much time to be creative in the moment. Time to intentionally craft with the boys in the afternoons, time to go out and about in Wellington enjoying the best our city has to offer. And always with camera in hand catching magical moments and memories that I shared right here.

Now I find myself working 37.5 hours at work plus whatever hours outside of that are required to meet the demands of the job as well as a longer commute. And the days tick by. And my children keep growing.

And I have an overwhelming sense that life's balance just slipped further from my grasp.


And so I find myself searching desperately for ways to address this. 

Of course there are options. Work less hours, or if that's not an option, find a less demanding job. Sounds easy in principle doesn't it. 

Or I could challenge myself to set aside dedicated time during the week to cultivate my photography skills and develop my writing and blog.

However, I'm not sure that any of this can be solved today, tomorrow or even next week.

For now there's the thought of a soon-to-arrive holiday in less than five weeks. A time when, away from the routines and busyness of this current season, I'm committed to deeper reflection, soul searching and prayer for answers.

And in the meantime holding steadfast to this truth - thank you Miriam for reminding me:  'Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need' 

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