02 September 2013

Desperately seeking balance....

I was so encouraged by the number of people who engaged with me after last week's post When Dreams and Reality Collide.

Hearing how some of you have indeed made a conscious decision to choose to live out your dreams was really inspiring. I was particularly touched by Cat sharing more of her story with me, and also an email I received from Julie sharing the wonderful work and story of Carla Coulson whose blog  I hadn't yet been introduced to. I spent a good part of Monday night enveloped in the beautiful world that Carla creates in her photography and came away so full of hope. 

It has given me much to think about this past week.

One thing for sure is that the current work-to-life balance is not quite right.

Two years ago when Noah began school I made a conscious decision to cut back my hours from 40 to 35 hours a week. That lasted about 6 months and then they crept back to 37 with busyness at work and Noah went to after-school care one day a week. In the remaining four days I still managed to pack in my work hours between 7.30am - 2.30pm so I could spend my afternoons with the boys.

I look back on posts from that time and it feels like I had so much time to be creative in the moment. Time to intentionally craft with the boys in the afternoons, time to go out and about in Wellington enjoying the best our city has to offer. And always with camera in hand catching magical moments and memories that I shared right here.

Now I find myself working 37.5 hours at work plus whatever hours outside of that are required to meet the demands of the job as well as a longer commute. And the days tick by. And my children keep growing.

And I have an overwhelming sense that life's balance just slipped further from my grasp.

And so I find myself searching desperately for ways to address this. 

Of course there are options. Work less hours, or if that's not an option, find a less demanding job. Sounds easy in principle doesn't it. 

Or I could challenge myself to set aside dedicated time during the week to cultivate my photography skills and develop my writing and blog.

However, I'm not sure that any of this can be solved today, tomorrow or even next week.

For now there's the thought of a soon-to-arrive holiday in less than five weeks. A time when, away from the routines and busyness of this current season, I'm committed to deeper reflection, soul searching and prayer for answers.

And in the meantime holding steadfast to this truth - thank you Miriam for reminding me:  'Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need' 


vegemitevix said...

I so understand this. 21 years ago I left my job at Microsoft to start my own little home based consultancy because I wanted more control of my time. I knew I was never going to be able to have my children and raise them the way I wanted to without leaving the corporate world. I was right. Hoping and praying for you that the right opportunities come along so you can achieve balance, but I feel confident you will. It's already begun. Vix xx

Unknown said...

i remember having a dream crisis when i was 7 months pregnant with evangeline - i had just done a course and all the other course people were out there living the dream and getting opportunities and i was tired, overly pregnant and aware that my life was going to be nappies and breastfeeding for the next however long. that didnt fit with the dream. as i was driving home one day, fully thinking about my crisis, having a good sigh, God reminded me that He made me. He made me with my life. As a woman. As a mother. and that though people looked like they were on the fast road and i was on the pregnant road that God would open the doors at the right time. Being a mum was part of His plan for my life. He sees our lives, where we are today, the demands of family and work, everything. Hold onto your dream Meghan and keep dreaming - God will open a door in a unique surprising way, at the right time. Blessings, Claire One Passion One Devotion

Jaz from Treacy Family said...

Gee wiz Claire sooo beautifully said.

Keep dreaming, praying and loving your family. At least you have recognised that feeling of unease and that means you will make a better opportunity out of it. This I am confident. With love, Jaz x

Leonie said...

Yes yes yes re Miriam's reminder. Thinking of you and hoping you find peace and calm and a way forward xx

Miriam said...

thanks Meghan xxx I think this holiday time is going to be very special for you. Time to seek clarity outside of the demands of the everyday. I pray it will be a time of listening and hearing and hope. Love you girl - even more than a blog shout-out xxxx

Julie said...

Your photos are beautiful too, Meghan. I hope that your upcoming holiday provides more time in which to think and dream (perhaps during those long-hauls!) and that you feel the benefits of your break upon your return home xx

Michelle said...

Hang in there! Everything usually works out in the end :) I really love your photos in this post x

Ange - Tall, Short and Tiny said...

Lots of love and hugs to you, my beautiful and talented friend, as you figure out how to juggle life and make yourself happy xxx

Angela said...

Like you say, "easier said!" I think it's great your examining the situation at all -- that means you're halfway there, right? Recognising you want change? SURELY! xx


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